I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize