So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
