i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
