So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
