I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
