So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
