its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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