The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
