TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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