i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
