so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
