Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
