Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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