I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
they need to just BURY HIM!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
