you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
false alarm, still single
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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