Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
