she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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