"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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