I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You did what with his pubic hair?
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