Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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