Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
