Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
jump out the window naked night went bad
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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