this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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