You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Last time i carry you out of a forest
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
