your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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