maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
