Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
