So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
