happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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