Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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