Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
