If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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