its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
