i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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