PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
