these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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