bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Less talking, more tequila
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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