Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Still dying that you shit outside
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Enjoy the penises
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
