the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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