Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
