Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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