If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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