SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
