i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I didn't shave. On purpose
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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