I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
