well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
