I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
