Kareoke will never be a sober sport
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
