butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
