Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
