if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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