There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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